illustration

what kind of sleep is this pumkin....

Two or three times a year I am burdened by insomnia.  Actually, I'm not quite sure I can call it that because in my most natural state, I am of the species of animal that thrives in the night.  But, adulthood makes that a difficult condition.

All through my teens and college years I had a habit of staying awake almost right before the sun came through the horizon.  I always schedule my classes at UCLA to occur afternoon, and when I couldn't, those classes were hardly attended.  I learned to pass classes with technique instead of attendance.  

In high school, my senior year marine biology class attendance was under 20 days total that semester, because of the unbearable 8am start time. Most of those days where quiz or test days. The teacher whom I won't name lead the class with a round of applause everyday I would show up (terrible social reinforcement). At the time, I thought it was funny what I was able to get away with, but I can't imagine how any of this was helpful instruction. To my benefit, I did receive an A in class with the usage of my survival "technique".  This was also when I figured out that the educational system that I was receiving in the public schools was a sham.  This gut feeling, even though I continued through a similar system for many years afterwards, persisted.

As a first generation immigrant, schooling was a necessity, not a choice. It is almost impossible to describe what this feels like, but I can assure you, other immigrants of certain cultures understand this very well.

insomnia, can't quite shake this lovely feeling, oh baby.....

insomnia, can't quite shake this lovely feeling, oh baby.....

  

The Good Girl.

She was a good girl.  Full of the ethereal and effortless.  An experiment, named one of Darwinian's favorites.  A winner as far as any society was concerned.  

But, she had secrets.  And without a pass into the frontal lobe, the rest looked just like a lizard.  

"Even the best ones look convoluted on the insides", said a grizzled beast downing his tall can inside a black hole, once.  

"Not always, but sometimes", I fancied.

Be careful when you envy perfection.  

Image courtesy of the artist,  Ali Sabet  © 2013

Image courtesy of the artist, Ali Sabet © 2013